aliveandticking

Oh, that's good! I wasn't sure how much anyone who was just there because they were dreaming would remember. But I wasn't going to explain everything. I don't know everything myself just yet, but I'm working on it!

Yes. It was a real surprise at first!

Yeah, I'm pretty sure I remember it all. I woke up here, after that.

I'm glad you're okay, aa.

I'm glad I'm okay, too. ...Are you okay?

Yeah, I'm okay, I guess. Blind, but no voices and visions. It was a good trade. TZ's teaching me.

The voices weren't much fun. I spent so long getting upset at them that it's a little strange not to have them talking to me any more... [ she pauses a moment ] Can I come by now?

Yeah, they really sucked. You don't have them anymore, now...?

[Pause] Oh, yeah. Sure, of course you can.

Not really. It's kind of hard to explain.

I'll try to find it soon!

I'll...be here. See you soon.

[ from the square it's not long to any of the buildings, and Aradia's on the eighth floor of the eighth building in no time (she gets the feeling Vriska was one of the first trolls here). Knocking on the right door, she calls out ] Sollux?

[He feels his way to the door and opens it, smiling awkwardly in her general direction and stepping back to let her enter]

Hey...

[ luckily he can't see she looks a little awkward herself. or not luckily, because being blind isn't really lucky now is it! She steps inside, closing the door behind her ] Hey.

[ WELP no oh god she can't leave it at that, wow this was so much easier before dying and turning into a robot and ignoring him for most of the game ]

So Terezi's been teaching you, huh? Are you picking it up okay?

[He starts to make his slow, awkward way back towards the couch. He can't see a thing, though his nostrils flare and he even opens his mouth and makes soft, subtle licking motions with his tongues, as if tasting the air.]

I guess I'm starting to a little, but it's slow.

[He turns his head towards Aradia] You smell pretty good, uh... cherries, I mean. Or maybe cranberries.

[ she laughs a bit, not unkindly, just because she's more used to hearing that sort of thing from Terezi ] I'm wearing a lot of red! [ impulsively, she grabs his hand and leads him over to the couch, sitting down herself ]

[He's grateful for the help, and he squeezes her hand as she leads him. She's soft and warm again, and he's inexpressibly happy about that, even if he's awkward and uncertain in her presence at the moment.

He sits down, but doesn't let go]

Yeah, I bet you are. And wings, too, huh?

And wings too! I think I can put them away if I want, but I feel like they're supposed to go with the outfit.

That must be nice.

[He means it, too. He smiles at her helplessly, unsure of what to say]

Uh, I'm pretty new here, but if you've got any questions I can try to answer them.

[ okay no enough is enough! She pulls away finally, putting her face in her hands ]

Sollux, this is so awkward! You can tell too, right?

[He falls silent, feeling abandoned that she's pulled away. And he's sure that it's his fault that things are awkward. He sags unhappily, hanging his head.]

I'm...sorry.

[ oops she keeps forgetting he can't... see her. She puts a hand back on his arm, so he'll know where she is ] You know I'm okay with-- I mean, whatever you have with Feferi, you know I understand, right? I mean, I died, and then was a sprite, and a robot, and I basically just moped around ignoring everyone, so-- I mean, I understand, if that's why you're feeling kind of weird.

Oh. [That doesn't actually...make him feel any better. At all.] Yeah, thanks. I appreciate that, aa. [His tone turns sarcastic] If anything happens with ff, I won't have to worry. Not that that's likely to happen, since she's not here, and she's a princess anyway. But I'm glad that you still don't really care what I do. That's a big load off.

[Wow, he feels a little mean, now, but feeling guilty sort of makes him feel angry, and he turns his face away, scrubbing his face with his fingers and biting his lip]

Oh, stop being so self-deprecating! That's not what I meant. [ she grabs his face and turns it back to her you stop that this instant young man ] I said I understand, not that I don't care!

[He stiffens as she manhandles him and jerks back, breaking her grip. Reaching up, he tries to grab her hands in both of his, though he has only the aroma of them to guide him and that's pretty vague at this point.]

I get it!

[ she lets him take her hands, biting her lip ] Sorry. That was pretty rude.

[Don't apologize, Aradia, it makes him feel bad. He squeezes her hands tightly]

I just...don't know what you want from me. You don't know what it was fucking... ugh... how do you think it felt like when the first time I talked to you after I blew up your hive, you were so cold and distant? Like you practically hated me, except you didn't even give enough of a shit to do that?

... I didn't know I'd killed you, too. I didn't know what you were going through, and I know it was way worse for you, but it still sucked for me, aa.

I know. After I died, it was like... nothing mattered, and everything sucked, and the voices were really loud then, louder than they ever were before. It didn't even occur to me to tell anyone I was dead, because it didn't have anything to do with the game then, really! All I ever did was break stuff and bring about the apocalypse. I know I was really horrible to you, and you didn't deserve it, even if I wasn't doing it on purpose.

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